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KILLA's Avatar
Posts: 401
Join Date: Feb 2005
Experience - 12-16-2006, 10:06 PM

Hey Bros,

Just thought I would check in with all of you. I've been on this board for close to 2 years now. Most all of the old bros have moved-on, so I don't know many of you. I haven't been online much over the last 6 or 7 months. I have been extremely busy. I have also been off cycle for that long as well.
I am in my early 30's and I have done 3 cycles over the past 2 years. My first cycle was nice. I gained 20 lbs and was ripped. The next 2 cycles were nice, but my gains never exceeded the first cycle. Each time, I could reach the same weight, but would never pack on any more. Tried eating different, sleeping more, different supps, more gear, etc...Nothing helped. However I always felt AWESOME and absolutely no one screwed with me. My mind was sharper, and my energy was incredible. My wife could not sleep in the same room with me because incredibly horny. 3 to 4 times between 9PM and 5AM was not uncommon, and my wife said she was to sore!!!!
What I want to say though, is even though I had decent cycles, and did perfect PCT, I am really messed up mentally now. My blood pressure is high and my moods are crazy. I hate everything most of the time, unless my wife slips me a couple of Xanax, which is only when she has to deal with me in public. She is a trooper though. We all hope I get to feeling better. I hope she doesnt leave. I am paranoid and impatient now too. My anxiety is crazy. Never been this way. On gear I wasn't like this, but maybe the roid rage has come late for me. I really hope it all goes away. My doctor has tried a couple different anti depressants with me and nothing really works, but sometimes makes me feel worse. At this point, I really feel that gear may have permanently done something to me. I act differently and I am anti-social now.
Although I can not conclusively say that gear did this to me, I want everyone to know how I have felt after gear. I am sure another cycle will fix everything, but when would that stop?
My cycles mainly consisted of test prop or sust. I stacked different things, like deca, primo, and winny with each different cycle. It was all top notch stuff.
Be careful, and think it through. Gear is great and I might do another cycle one day, but it really could have bad side effects for the rest of your life.
Reply With Quote
Posts: 125
Join Date: Oct 2006
12-17-2006, 02:19 AM

Have you had a harmonal blood test recently mabey your harmone levels could be out of wack I just don't know mabey you should try another cycle just to see how you react mentally.
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mike1991's Avatar
Posts: 240
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mental Hospital
12-17-2006, 10:27 AM

I think you would have this problem anyways. You can't blame it on the gear. Males who typically have anxiety attacks generally start in there 30's, sure its more common in woman, however, I bet if you set down and investigate it more you will see someone on your family side is suffering from the same thing. Good Luck
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squish's Avatar
Posts: 50
Join Date: May 2005
Location: 3rd dimension
12-17-2006, 04:32 PM

Wassup Killa? Its been a while! There is a saying... when you hear hoofbeats think of horses and NOT zebras. In other words think the most obvious thing first before the most obscure.

1. Do you have a family history of depression and/or bi-polar disorder?
2. Are you consistently fighting bouts of insomnia? If so address that need.
3. Is there any different stresses for you at work (e.g. new boss, hellish coworkers, etc)?
4. Have you gone in for a complete physicial with your doctor concentrating on blood work (e.g. CRP, test levels, liver function testing, glucose)?
5. Have you addressed these things with a professional counselor?

I would do all these things first before I would think the gear messed you up. Although I believe gear can affect the mind long after one stops taking them, I don't think it's all that common and it has more to do with your personal history.

My recommendation is to go through the above list of suggestions before you try gear again.

Good luck bro and keep us updated.
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Ironaddict's Avatar
Posts: 238
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: In my own world
12-18-2006, 06:21 PM


Take this from some one who has had all of your sides. You have put your natural testosterone out of whack. Your going through the battles of low test levels and hormonal change. My suggestion is balance!!!

You will need to start taking a small maintenance dosage of testosterone to clear the mood swings. "MAKE SURE YOU GET REAL GEAR". taking junk will just make things worse!!! Stay away from the prop. that's half the issues right there. you need a longer carbon for duration of test in the blood stream. Try Cypionate or enanthate. Prop spikes your blood stream and can cause all of those issues. You also need to get your adrenal glands back in check. start taking some Ashwagandha root or any adrenal support supplements ginseng etc.

I would imagine your pct was HCG, Proviron etc???

Are you currently taking any ephedra or caffeine products daily? Any recreational drugs?
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KILLA's Avatar
Posts: 401
Join Date: Feb 2005
12-20-2006, 10:44 PM

You guys are probably right about my issues. I do have family history of depression and anxiety, topped off with addiction. Fucking wonderful!! My doc gives me creepy ass medicine that makes me feel like shit to help control my depression and anxiety, but will not give me any Xanax or Klonipin because of my addiction issues.

BUT my anxiety and depression have never been this bad, EVER.

I also have to deal with shitty coworkers, a boss who is pretty cool, but makes me build 10 damn spreadsheets everday that mostly contain the same information in each, so when I update 1 I have to update 5. My company is too chincy to buy an inventory tool. The spreadsheets get out of date real fast, so he just makes me start all over, all the time. I spend more time on spreadsheets than anything in my actual job description.

So you bros are probably right, but I am not sure Iron Addict speaks the truth about maintenance doses of test to get back to normal. 1st it is 7 months since I stopped, and 2nd, maintenance doses will again stop my natural test, so that could start the issue all over again. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could stay on 750 to 1000 mg test/wk. But I cannot do that. Even at 50mg test a week, my natural test is gone, and if I keep that up, it will be gone for good.

You got to take the good with the bad, and I know that. But it is alot worse than I imagined, paired with my own issues. I also should go get my bloodwork done for sure, just been putting it off.

HEY WASSUP SQUISH!!! Nice to hear from you bro. Hope all is well.

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