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Diet for Stress

darksidefitness

Registered User
Dec 7, 2012
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Diet for Stress

Breakfast:

1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk

Lunch:

4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon Snack:

The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce

Dinner:

2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars

Late Evening News:

Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)


Rules for This Diet

If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.

When you eat with someone else, calories don''t count if you do not eat! more than they do.

Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one''s personal fuel. Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.

Cookie pieces contain no calories. (The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.)

Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.

Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.

Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to! gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

Anyt! hing con sumed from someone else''s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)

REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS
 

turbobusa

Super Moderator - RIP
Nov 18, 2012
3,442
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Ohhh Darkside got jokes! That bout made me piss myself(or might just be my age) when I read that. Funny shit...! T
 

AtomAnt

AnaSCI VET
Oct 27, 2012
2,208
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Swole-Nation
I clicked on this thinking it was a serious diet for stress reduction (hell, it just might be after you go into a food coma).

Darkside, that is some funny ass shit! Next time someone tell me they are an "emotional eater" I am going to send then this lol

Appreciate the humor!

Oh, but you are missing one thing...where is the Nutella? It's made from nuts, it is definitely super healthy
 

darksidefitness

Registered User
Dec 7, 2012
255
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LoL!!! Enjoy the "DIET"...Happy New Year, and remember...eat it, enjoy it and if they don't see you...never happen...by the way, is funny as hell no matter the age group!