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5 Ways to Spot A New Meathead

darksidefitness

Registered User
Dec 7, 2012
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5 Ways to Spot A New Meathead

1. Look at their legs.

Are they wearing long pants? Or shorts? If they're wearing long pants then they're probably trying to cover up their small Chicken Legs.

You see, most New Meatheads rarely train their legs, opting to spend more time on the bench press. And if they do train legs, it's almost always with the hack-squat machine or leg press, two exercises that are good in a pinch, but not as main leg exercises.

2. Look at their ass.

Yes, I know it can be scary. But look. You must find this out. Do they even have a noticeable ass? As a consequence of rarely training their legs, most New Meatheads have Flat-Ass Syndrome, a horrible affliction where their ass is actually concave. (Note: that's why you never see a New Meathead sit down -- they'd slide right off the chair.)

3. Notice their shoulders.

Are they slumped forward? Not like a depressed 14-year-old, but like a guy who's all pumped up but can't….seem…to…pull…his…shoulders…back. Like, physically incapable.

This is due to the sheer amount of bench pressing, shoulder pressing, and biceps curls. It wouldn't be so bad -- and their upper bodies may just look more proportionate -- if New Meatheads were to to do rows, pull-ups, reverse flies, and other exercises that strengthened their upper back.

But that rarely happens. Instead, you'll normally find them on the T-Bar Row trying to move four 45-pound plates a few inches.

4. Look for a notebook.

Don't see one? That's a bad sign. That means the New Meathead is in the gym doing whatever he feels like. No workout program. No progressive overload. No programming whatsoever.

Barbell curls? Sure. Dumbbell curls? Hell yeah. Preacher curls? Amen.

With no plan of attack, the New Meathead's groans of fake exertion will be in vain as he'll probably look the same as he does today four weeks from now.

5. Check the clock.

A New Meathead workout usually takes more than an hour, but they often have little to show for it. Between stopping for water, annoying other gym members, watching themselves in the mirror, and stopping for more water, a New Meathead may only do 15 minutes of actual exercise.

If you see him on the gym floor when you walk in the front door, and again when you walk out, it's safe to say the New Meathead is probably just wasting time.
 

Magnus82

Banned
Oct 29, 2012
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Out in the boondocks
Dont forget "ILS" aka invisible lat syndrome. Funny how one can aquire this without training back. It also seems highly contageous!

Funny shit. My aunts GF had that and the pack of luckys . It's a nature thing like puffer fish and such.. T
 
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omegachewy

Registered User
Dec 8, 2012
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damn. i have two of these. I always wear sweat pants. not rly a shorts kinda guy. and never have a notebook. Ideatic memory so i dont need one lol. i also love leg press and hack squats. really good to use if my lower back is killing me.
 

turbobusa

Super Moderator - RIP
Nov 18, 2012
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My ass is like two perfect little teacups upside down:confused:. I was always a "quad" squatter. Had a tiny ass squating raw reps in the 8's . Just unlucky in the genes dept am I.. T
 

NOSUPERMODEL

Registered User
Nov 6, 2012
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I have number 3 bad. I am trying to work on getting them pulled back. Doing several kinds of stretches. Mine comes from being an overweight kid/adult and trying to "hide" my chest.

Any suggestions on getting them pulled back. Should I stop working chest, and biceps until they are pulled back? What exercises do you recommend.
 

Magnus82

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Oct 29, 2012
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I have number 3 bad. I am trying to work on getting them pulled back. Doing several kinds of stretches. Mine comes from being an overweight kid/adult and trying to "hide" my chest.

Any suggestions on getting them pulled back. Should I stop working chest, and biceps until they are pulled back? What exercises do you recommend.

Are you chest/front delt dominant? Any rotator problems? If so, you may be lacking back/rear delt developement, a cause of rotator problems. I would focus on rear delt raises, face pulls, and heavy s
reverse rear delt swings (one of mountain dogs favorites) Strengthing these muscles should deffinately help your posture.
 

NOSUPERMODEL

Registered User
Nov 6, 2012
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Are you chest/front delt dominant? Any rotator problems? If so, you may be lacking back/rear delt developement, a cause of rotator problems. I would focus on rear delt raises, face pulls, and heavy s
reverse rear delt swings (one of mountain dogs favorites) Strengthing these muscles should deffinately help your posture.

Very much front delt dominant. Chest is not great. I would say I have what you call barrel chested. Rotator cuff hurts every chest day. They even hurt on bicep curls. Should I stop doing any chest? What about not doing certain shoulder exercises?
 

Magnus82

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Oct 29, 2012
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Very much front delt dominant. Chest is not great. I would say I have what you call barrel chested. Rotator cuff hurts every chest day. They even hurt on bicep curls. Should I stop doing any chest? What about not doing certain shoulder exercises?

Kind of what i expected. Do chest but do exercises with less shoulder involvement. I would prioritize in this order 1. Dips, 2. Decline, 3. Pushups. No flyes or even flat bench for now. Also, curls (especially hammer) involve alot of front shoulder. Try doing curls, 1hand on the wall (like your puking), with other arm hanging, begin to curl cross body. The top of the movement is the hardest since your elbow is not under the weight like in traditional bicep movements. This will take the load off the shoulders as well. Do broomstick and dc shoulder stretches. Look into a stability bar like they use at westside barbell. They sell the but $$$. One can be made cheap with pvc and find plans on youtube. This work great to hit all those little stabilizer muscles in the shoulder when doing overhead presses. Tb 500 doesn't hurt either. Hope this helps bro!
 

NOSUPERMODEL

Registered User
Nov 6, 2012
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Kind of what i expected. Do chest but do exercises with less shoulder involvement. I would prioritize in this order 1. Dips, 2. Decline, 3. Pushups. No flyes or even flat bench for now. Also, curls (especially hammer) involve alot of front shoulder. Try doing curls, 1hand on the wall (like your puking), with other arm hanging, begin to curl cross body. The top of the movement is the hardest since your elbow is not under the weight like in traditional bicep movements. This will take the load off the shoulders as well. Do broomstick and dc shoulder stretches. Look into a stability bar like they use at westside barbell. They sell the but $$$. One can be made cheap with pvc and find plans on youtube. This work great to hit all those little stabilizer muscles in the shoulder when doing overhead presses. Tb 500 doesn't hurt either. Hope this helps bro!

I searched for the stability bar on Westside Barbell but could not find it. I will do the chest exercises, but I feel dips in my shoulders also. Maybe do just extra decline and push ups. I understand the curl exercise. Will preacher take the load off the shoulder? Going to search the shoulder/back exercises you mentioned above. I guess being shoulder dominant is the reason I cannot grow biceps and a chest.

How long should I have to do all this for my shoulders to pull back?

Oh and thanks a lot for the help.
 

Magnus82

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Oct 29, 2012
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Out in the boondocks
Not sure if the youtube link works. As someone who has torn a distal bicep tendon, i am not a huge fan of preachers. I do all bicep work partially bent over overloading the top of the movement. You don't get that with traditional exercises. Another killer exersise is a shoulder grip pull up 30 seconds up, 30 seconds down (bet ya cant do 2). If you cant do one, choose a slow tempo you can do. I also like to jump up on the last few and do controlled negatives as slow as i can. Use wraps or hooks, you will do more. Good luck!


Bandbell Bar - Westside Barbell Products
John Leonard - Stability Bench w/ KB's and PVC Bar - YouTube
 

Magnus82

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Oct 29, 2012
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Just realised they now call it the bandbell bar. Look it up on youtube. Tons of stuff on it. From exercises to how to make your own. Back when i made mine, they called it a stability bar and it was made of bamboo.
 

FordFan

Registered User
Nov 12, 2012
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Damn, I have a case of the "gone ass", and don't use a notebook. I do squats and I'm finally coming around to technology. I keep notes in my phone (no I don't text in the gym)!
 

IsoVet

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Feb 4, 2013
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my training takes 1 hour and 30 minutes and I don't have a notebook. I've been lifting for 20 years. Does that still make me a new meathead?
 

darksidefitness

Registered User
Dec 7, 2012
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Only if you still doing the same training routine, same weight, etc as 20 years ago...but you don't have a notebook to compare. By the weight...this is pure entertainment.


my training takes 1 hour and 30 minutes and I don't have a notebook. I've been lifting for 20 years. Does that still make me a new meathead?