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Some sensible advice

thebull2012

Registered User
Feb 3, 2013
127
0
0
Out there
I've posted a few times here regarding issues with the women I've dated. Most of the time I've been guilty of over thinking things and making the situation worse. So here is a situation I've ran into with a new girl.

Been together about 6 months, things are going really well, but I found out that about 3 months into the relationship she went and had lunch with a "guy friend" she had previously slept with. My biggest issue with this is that she purposely kept it from me. When I asked her why, she doesn't really have an answer. Apparently they had been friends for several years. He's the goofy nerdy guy that has girls for friends because he's not too popular with the guys, they make fun of him, hes rat her fat, oit of shape etc.. Their one night together was a year ago when both were drinking and sh*t just happened, since then nothing has happened. I almost feel sorry for him. However, it's nothing personal against him. My concern is, would this be something to raise concern? She's winced ceased communication with him and changed her cell number. She said that we are priority and she made a mistake. My question is if she cared for me, why do something or follow through with something that would hurt my feelings. Had she been upfront about the lunch meeting, I moat likely wouldn't have had any issues. The fact it was hidden from me, makes me feel very uneasy.

So I'm looking for some insight, direction.
 
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Phoe2006

Banned
Jun 10, 2013
5,267
0
0
I see 2 answers here:

1 either she really made a bad decision which we all do and is sincerely apologetic

Or

2 this us just a prelude to what's to come and you should run

Now you know her better than anyone else on this forum and you should just sit back and pay close attention to for the next few months before y'all get to serious. We're all human and we make mistakes and bad decisions all the time so I say give it time and see what happens.
 

psych

WPF Champion / Donating Member
Nov 4, 2013
3,137
0
0
Chicago
Ditch her.....modern white women in America are so brainwashed by backwards thinking by illogical "radical" feminists. It's inbred, go get a latina.

He's a pussy beta male that's a dick in a jar. Break in case of emergency, all girls do it. So do guys too btw!!! But it's still wrong.
 
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Phoe2006

Banned
Jun 10, 2013
5,267
0
0
Ditch her.....modern white women in America are so brainwashed by backwards thinking by illogical "radical" feminists. It's inbred, go get a latina.

He's a pussy beta male that's a dick in a jar. Break in case of emergency, all girls do it. So do guys too btw!!! But it's still wrong.
Thats why you need a good ol southern girl in your life
 
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Marshall

AnaSCI VIP / Donating Member
Oct 31, 2012
1,658
0
36
Phoe is right, it's 1 of the 2.

Scenario #1 is possible, because yes, women are naïve to think men are their friends and she may have realized it was dumb.

Scenario #2, could well happen. Keep your eyes open. If it does, you'll wish you took psych's advice and dumped her ass. Don't let her fool you twice though. Shame on you then.
 

squatster

AnaSCI VIP
Mar 27, 2014
3,621
22
38
First off - what juice are you on now and what one then. Trying to figure out your mind set. T400 makes every one I have ever talked to insane after some time. Abombs also make me react way different.
The major Laws have to be set or boundaries at the beginning of the or a relationships.
If Thay are set then broken then that is one thing
If there is nothing in stone then that is another thing
I tell my girls - I don't put up with sneeky shit at all , the one I am with if she drinks I am gone- crazy drinker - over board every time
If my girl needs guy friends then I am not the one..
I don't beleave girls and guys can be friends like that- sorry they slept together before and that tells you some thing is there. Plain and simple - nothing to fight about
Wish I read every ones post first before I posted but
Exept or don't exept
Like what Pheo said

Really like what Psych said
 

squatster

AnaSCI VIP
Mar 27, 2014
3,621
22
38
Forgot the most important part -
How did you find out?
How did you find out they slept together?
If she changed her number - does tthat mean that there was a fight?
Physical fight or just words?
Hands on or yelling or just talking?
 

Magnus82

Banned
Oct 29, 2012
4,827
0
0
Out in the boondocks
Lol, psych! Phoe is right. Having gone through a divorce, I can tell you I was WAY more selective with my second wife. She slept with a nerdy friend, RED FLAG! Who does this, it's not normal. Just based on the things you know, I'd run, and that's not even taking into consideration what you don't know. What if another "situation" arises. I guess I still consider sex sacred, and not to be given for sympathy or otherwise. Be patient, there are still some really good women out there.


I see 2 answers here:

1 either she really made a bad decision which we all do and is sincerely apologetic

Or

2 this us just a prelude to what's to come and you should run

Now you know her better than anyone else on this forum and you should just sit back and pay close attention to for the next few months before y'all get to serious. We're all human and we make mistakes and bad decisions all the time so I say give it time and see what happens.

Ditch her.....modern white women in America are so brainwashed by backwards thinking by illogical "radical" feminists. It's inbred, go get a latina.

He's a pussy beta male that's a dick in a jar. Break in case of emergency, all girls do it. So do guys too btw!!! But it's still wrong.
 
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thebull2012

Registered User
Feb 3, 2013
127
0
0
Out there
Well, in the simplest and shortest way.....
They were friends for about 4 years. Periodically they would grab a move together etc. He's friends with her family so it was nothing for the whole group to get together for a night out, cook out etc. She said after her divorce they were hanging oit, she had been drinking and she said she wanted some ass and he was there. She said after that their friendship was awkward and the two kind of ceased hanging out for a while.

I don't remember the conversation we had but I remember asking her about him because I too, gave her the speech that guys and girls can't be just friends and hang out daily without something happening. You're fighting mother nature unless one of you is gay. Just makes me uneasy that she felt the need to hide a lunch date with him in the assumption I would feel awkward or be upset. Truth be told if she would have given me a heads up, I would have been cool with it. But lying to me about it, I made my point very clear I wasn't happy. She took it upon herself to change her number. I never asked her to do so. I did ask her why, she claims that we are a priority and wants to show it. So she ceased contact with him, and changed her number. I honestly believe it was a one time bad judgment call on her part. But don't think I'm not keeping an eye on things for a while to see what unfolds.
 

clanmate

Banned
Jul 29, 2015
13
0
0
I've posted a few times here regarding issues with the women I've dated. Most of the time I've been guilty of over thinking things and making the situation worse. So here is a situation I've ran into with a new girl.

Been together about 6 months, things are going really well, but I found out that about 3 months into the relationship she went and had lunch with a "guy friend" she had previously slept with. My biggest issue with this is that she purposely kept it from me. When I asked her why, she doesn't really have an answer. Apparently they had been friends for several years. He's the goofy nerdy guy that has girls for friends because he's not too popular with the guys, they make fun of him, hes rat her fat, oit of shape etc.. Their one night together was a year ago when both were drinking and sh*t just happened, since then nothing has happened. I almost feel sorry for him. However, it's nothing personal against him. My concern is, would this be something to raise concern? She's winced ceased communication with him and changed her cell number. She said that we are priority and she made a mistake. My question is if she cared for me, why do something or follow through with something that would hurt my feelings. Had she been upfront about the lunch meeting, I moat likely wouldn't have had any issues. The fact it was hidden from me, makes me feel very uneasy.

So I'm looking for some insight, direction.

I suggest if the things between you two are currently going well then just go with it. However, it depends on what kind of relationship you are looking for, do you want a long term relationship with her? if yes, you should let go of her past and focus on the future and tell her the same.....