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Having kids when you’re older

Sully

AnaSCI VET / Donating Member
Dec 3, 2012
3,324
0
36
I’ve been doing some thinking lately, which is rarely a good thing for me, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to have kids. Maybe. Possibly. Ok, I’m still struggling with the idea quite a bit. I’ve never been the kind of person that likes kids, any of them. Can’t stand ‘em. But, nonetheless, I’ve been having those biological urges, and my position on them has softened lately.

The issue is, I’m currently 37, and there’s a good chance that I’d be over 40 by the time I actually have kids. I feel like I’m almost too old to have kids from the perspective of keeping up with them and being involved in their lives. The kids with old parents in high school were always weird kids, or in a lot of trouble cuz their parents were too old to be bothered with actually parenting them.

Can anyone that’s had kids later in life break things down for me and give me some perspective to help me work out this dilemma?
 

squatster

AnaSCI VIP
Mar 27, 2014
3,620
22
38
I’ve been doing some thinking lately, which is rarely a good thing for me, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to have kids. Maybe. Possibly. Ok, I’m still struggling with the idea quite a bit. I’ve never been the kind of person that likes kids, any of them. Can’t stand ‘em. But, nonetheless, I’ve been having those biological urges, and my position on them has softened lately.

The issue is, I’m currently 37, and there’s a good chance that I’d be over 40 by the time I actually have kids. I feel like I’m almost too old to have kids from the perspective of keeping up with them and being involved in their lives. The kids with old parents in high school were always weird kids, or in a lot of trouble cuz their parents were too old to be bothered with actually parenting them.

Can anyone that’s had kids later in life break things down for me and give me some perspective to help me work out this dilemma?
Do it now brotha - I was your age with mine - opps 39- great age - I am just about 50 now with my youngest one 3 years old.
You will appreciate them more now at your age.
One big pcs. Of advice- once she conceives - get you ass back on the juice - and stay on man.
I hate other kids still - they suck ass- but your kid are the best part of you and the best part of your girl- they are the greatest thing in the world man.
They are what you put into them and what you teach them.
DO

GUST DO IT
DO IT
DO IT
DO IT
 

aon1

AnaSCI VET / Donating Member
Dec 10, 2013
1,087
0
36
dark side of Olympus
I think there are plenty of positive points for having children later in life, financial security equates to a more secure and rounded child because you have the funds to show them more than just the struggle of paycheck to paycheck etc, you also have more time to make being a great parent a priority no different than body building goals etc. As far as being to old to be a parent that has to do more with who you are if your a goal driven person and decide to create the best child your capable of you will if your lazy the kid will be worthless, I don't see this happening from what I know of your attitude on these boards. I had my son close to your age and it may change my retirement date but really retirement is just a quick road to the grave, I wouldn't not change my decision.

Just an added bonus UCLA ran some studies a good number of years back on ageing and basically when they only let reproduction in what ever they used for the test happen later in the test subjects life it increased the offsprings lifespan pretty substantially. I think they unded doubling the life span with in a few generations, just another argument for breading later in life
 

El Hereje

Registered User
Oct 3, 2017
32
0
0
I’ve been doing some thinking lately, which is rarely a good thing for me, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to have kids. Maybe. Possibly. Ok, I’m still struggling with the idea quite a bit. I’ve never been the kind of person that likes kids, any of them. Can’t stand ‘em. But, nonetheless, I’ve been having those biological urges, and my position on them has softened lately.



The issue is, I’m currently 37, and there’s a good chance that I’d be over 40 by the time I actually have kids. I feel like I’m almost too old to have kids from the perspective of keeping up with them and being involved in their lives. The kids with old parents in high school were always weird kids, or in a lot of trouble cuz their parents were too old to be bothered with actually parenting them.



Can anyone that’s had kids later in life break things down for me and give me some perspective to help me work out this dilemma?



I had a child around your age. I will tell you that if you are the type who doesn’t like kids you really might want to reconsider. It is not easy, especially through the toddler temper tantrums, endless crying etc. it can be a very difficult time for someone who likes their own time to do with as they like. That shit is all gone brudda when you got kids. That said, there is no greater feeling of happiness in this world than hearing your child’s laughter, seeing their smile, taking a nap on the couch with their skin pressed against yours. The feeling of knowing that you would do anything in the world for them. Parenting is joyous, painful, fulfilling and completely draining all within the same day. It’s a roller coaster.


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AGGRO

Registered User
Oct 25, 2012
976
1
0
If you want it then make it happen as you will only regret it later in life. You are not too old at all. My uncle and aunt had 2 kids when young and 20 years later had another 2 kids and they are doing fine. I know many parents who were much older than you. I assume you are single? That is the issue as you have to meet someone and you don't want to scare them wanting kids too soon! A bit like those older women who are desperate for kids and the first man that comes along they jump on!
 

NTL

Donating Member
Sep 6, 2017
31
0
0
52
We had my little girl when I was 39. I'm now 46 and she is 7. Being a parent is the best thing in my life. Yes we are the older parents and school function and events. Me and my wife have both aged well and don't looks are age. Most of the other parents are surprised when the learn how old we are. Never let age be a factor in wanting to be a parent.

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ASHOP

AnaSCI VET
Aug 28, 2005
4,435
0
36
ashop.in
My parents were both 45 when they gave birth to me and they were some of the best parents a guy could ever ask for. Follow your heart on this one.
 

anabolicraw

Registered User
Oct 8, 2016
273
0
0
South China
It is late. To have kids and accompany them growing up is a wonderful thing in the life. Although they bring some trouble inevitably, the kid will bring you a lot of fun, making you experience a different life. It is really happy life.
I have a little girl. She is very cute and clever. We love her and she loves us. We are a happy family.
The relationship between kids and parents is specially different from any other. Of course, the parents need to pay a lot of time and energy. But it is worthy.
 

Sully

AnaSCI VET / Donating Member
Dec 3, 2012
3,324
0
36
I appreciate all the replies everyone. You’ve given me some different outlooks, great perspectives and a lot to think about. If anyone else has any input, I’d still love to hear it.
 

Marshall

AnaSCI VIP / Donating Member
Oct 31, 2012
1,658
0
36
Kids just take a lot of energy and time. If you have it, then I don't see any issue at all.
 

Sully

AnaSCI VET / Donating Member
Dec 3, 2012
3,324
0
36
Hell raising the kids is the easy part putting up with the mother that has them for 18 years is where the energy,stress and aggravation happen.....lol

And that’s for sure one of the things I’m wrestling with. I’ve been with my g/f for almost 10 years, and I’d rather choke her than talk to her. Definitely not staying with her, but there aren’t any great prospects on the horizon, nor am I sure I even have any desire to get or be married. And, most women want that illusion of stability and safety that comes with marriage.

A friend at work suggested an option that I hadn’t considered. Donate sperm to a nice lesbian couple and be the weird uncle that comes over at Christmas and Thanksgiving, drinks too much and says a bunch of inappropriate things. That actually sounds like a cool deal to me, but it’s just a thought.

I don’t know. I’m not in a rush, just trying to get some different opinions and view points. It’ll be 5 years from this month before I retire from my current job and start career number 2, and I don’t know if I want to have a kid before I retire. I’ll be 42 then. I dunno.
 

aon1

AnaSCI VET / Donating Member
Dec 10, 2013
1,087
0
36
dark side of Olympus
You could always make it a business arrangement type deal with a female friend or maybe a mail order that has amazing genetics etc. Honestly at your age this would probably play out better because you and the mother would know the goal was just to raise a kid right off....no hurt feelings later or resentment from shit not working out etc... Just two friends or a partnership if you will to get what you both want...would be better for the kid to have parents that get along like this than parent at war half there life....I say this because I met my wife young and I was lucky it was just meant to be but I couldn't imagine trying to find a best friend like her later in life I'm just not sure it's even possible to some degree at the older age to many things in life have happen that changes that innocence you have meeting someone young and growing with them....it could happen but I think time would be better spent finding a good arrangement that gets you good offspring...

As for waiting until retirement to have a child ...my thoughts would be the sooner the better...if for no other reason your going to enjoy raising that kid alot more than you can even imagine at this point I wouldn't delay it no longer than just necessary....out of all the shit I've done in life my kids are really what I wouldn't change