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My sci-fi book

Daveyjones

Registered User
Feb 14, 2013
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So the other day I was talking to my friends about what I would imagine there house would look like if I was in a separate reality. They told me I should write a book lol. So a started and was wondering what u guys would think of this as an opening.

Have you ever walked into a situation and been so entirely and unequivocally unprepared that it gnawed at the very fibers that construct the predictable, mundane, and sometimes even picturesque concept known as reality? Well, if you haven’t I suggest you try it sometime. Granted, more often than not you will not have a choice. Furthermore, there is nothing quite like these moments, cats standing on their hind legs dressed in tuxedos and sipping tea. Or your boss, dressed in the attire of an old and infinitely knowledgeable wizard doing something so obscene that it upsets your stomach. And though these details are only pertinent to my particular “moment” in lapsed reality; I wouldn’t trade them in for a lifetime of this so called normal reality that sets societal standards.

This is just the first couple sentences but the first sentences are perhaps the most important in a book so I was wondering if u would keep reading after this? Any feed back it greatly appreciated.
 

Rory

Banned
Sep 29, 2012
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Sorry bro. Didn't make it thru the first sentence so I stopped. Decided to come back later an re-read it.... Didn't make it that much farther lol. Gotta go with IB on this one lol
 

tri-terror

Registered User
Oct 31, 2012
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Davey I think you are trying to hard, if that makes sense?
Good writing should just flow from you.
Big words are great in places they bong, but that whole first paragraph feels very forced to me.
 

AnaSCI

ADMINISTRATOR
Sep 17, 2003
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I didn't think it was all that bad considering you are dealing in a syfy style book.

Made me think of an opening verse from the Twilight Zone:p
 

striffe

AnaSCI VET
Feb 6, 2012
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USA
Not my kind of book. But I didnt think it was that bad. Im sure there's a sci fi forum out there somewhere. You would probably get better responses there.
 

Daveyjones

Registered User
Feb 14, 2013
180
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Alice in Wonderland

It is meant to follow that format with a infusion of Carlos castanedas a separate reality. The reason the first paragraph is extravagant like that is because it needs to hook readers but I will def take all ur response to heart. I've heard it's great from fellow students and professors. I have also heard that it is difficult to read from my father who is lawyer and My mother who is a ceo.so I wanted to put it up here to get a general idea of what a sample of the public would think

Thanks guys :)
 

chicken_hawk

AnaSCI VIP
Feb 2, 2013
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It reminded me of when I was young and dropped a lot of acid...guess I am saying either I enjoyed it or my experiences with LSD helped me to appreciate it LOL

Hawk
 

basskiller

AnaSCI VIP
Oct 29, 2004
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I didn't think it was all that bad considering you are dealing in a syfy style book.

Made me think of an opening verse from the Twilight Zone:p

that's exactly what it made me think of..


I could see Rod Sterling in my mind saying this as I was reading it