I'm trying to figure out what my malfunction is. I've scheduled an appointment with a therapist and going to see what the deal is.
Many of you know from a post (year or more ago) that I was having issues with a girlfriend and how she was treating me badly etc.
I ended up meeting someone else. She seemed nice, quiet and trustworthy. The initial problem I was worried about was the 8 year age difference. (I'm older).
Throughout the duration I noticed she seemed almost boring. We would speak but I always felt like I wasn't having a conversation with an adult but a child. she always seem very introverted, non interesting. It got to the point that I wasn't even happy to be around here because I felt that I didn't have an equal partner but more of a "raising a child" feeling.
Once the arguments begain, I noticed we had too different ways of handling them. My way was to talk about things. Her way was to let them fester, ignore me and stomp to the bedroom and stay there for hours. When I would approach her she wouldn't make eye contact with me and she would sit there and play with her hair while I spoke. She was obviously not interested in what I was saying and didn't seem to care much. To make things worse I found that if she were to do something or say something hurtful or detrimental to the relationship and I pointed out the fact that she did it, she would manage to turn the tables and blame me somehow. I found out through this that she didn't like to acknowledge that she did some ting or take responsibility for it. Eventually it got to the point that we moved out. It was discussed that we would take a break and work on things as individuals as see if there was a way to establish a relationship back. During this time period we talked about dating others and of course she was not in favor of it so I agreed.
A month into this separation I find that she's been seeing another guy. Now I can't hold her at fault bc technically we aren't together but my issue was the hiding. What's worse is its a guy I work with. Now I always find out that she's been in staying all night at his place. And even worse is she's been telling her coworkers negative things about me. You know, I'm the bad guy typical stuff. What's really degrading is during the separation I've given her money, paid her bills and helped her move move. Yet according to her I'm the shithead. It's like I'm her dirty secret yet when she talks about me to others nothing of the things I do for her is mentioned. I got no credit etc.
So at this point why can't I even say fuck it. Know my worth and walk away. Why can't I see that this was bad from the get go.
So what's the deal with me? This relationship was obviously toxic. I don't believe I was ever happy. So why is it when she treats me bad and walks, I all of a sudden want something to do with her. This isn't normal and it's a cat and mouse game.
Sorry this was so long but I'm looking for some brutal honesty and some direction.
Many of you know from a post (year or more ago) that I was having issues with a girlfriend and how she was treating me badly etc.
I ended up meeting someone else. She seemed nice, quiet and trustworthy. The initial problem I was worried about was the 8 year age difference. (I'm older).
Throughout the duration I noticed she seemed almost boring. We would speak but I always felt like I wasn't having a conversation with an adult but a child. she always seem very introverted, non interesting. It got to the point that I wasn't even happy to be around here because I felt that I didn't have an equal partner but more of a "raising a child" feeling.
Once the arguments begain, I noticed we had too different ways of handling them. My way was to talk about things. Her way was to let them fester, ignore me and stomp to the bedroom and stay there for hours. When I would approach her she wouldn't make eye contact with me and she would sit there and play with her hair while I spoke. She was obviously not interested in what I was saying and didn't seem to care much. To make things worse I found that if she were to do something or say something hurtful or detrimental to the relationship and I pointed out the fact that she did it, she would manage to turn the tables and blame me somehow. I found out through this that she didn't like to acknowledge that she did some ting or take responsibility for it. Eventually it got to the point that we moved out. It was discussed that we would take a break and work on things as individuals as see if there was a way to establish a relationship back. During this time period we talked about dating others and of course she was not in favor of it so I agreed.
A month into this separation I find that she's been seeing another guy. Now I can't hold her at fault bc technically we aren't together but my issue was the hiding. What's worse is its a guy I work with. Now I always find out that she's been in staying all night at his place. And even worse is she's been telling her coworkers negative things about me. You know, I'm the bad guy typical stuff. What's really degrading is during the separation I've given her money, paid her bills and helped her move move. Yet according to her I'm the shithead. It's like I'm her dirty secret yet when she talks about me to others nothing of the things I do for her is mentioned. I got no credit etc.
So at this point why can't I even say fuck it. Know my worth and walk away. Why can't I see that this was bad from the get go.
So what's the deal with me? This relationship was obviously toxic. I don't believe I was ever happy. So why is it when she treats me bad and walks, I all of a sudden want something to do with her. This isn't normal and it's a cat and mouse game.
Sorry this was so long but I'm looking for some brutal honesty and some direction.