- Dec 7, 2012
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5 Ways to Spot A New Meathead
1. Look at their legs.
Are they wearing long pants? Or shorts? If they're wearing long pants then they're probably trying to cover up their small Chicken Legs.
You see, most New Meatheads rarely train their legs, opting to spend more time on the bench press. And if they do train legs, it's almost always with the hack-squat machine or leg press, two exercises that are good in a pinch, but not as main leg exercises.
2. Look at their ass.
Yes, I know it can be scary. But look. You must find this out. Do they even have a noticeable ass? As a consequence of rarely training their legs, most New Meatheads have Flat-Ass Syndrome, a horrible affliction where their ass is actually concave. (Note: that's why you never see a New Meathead sit down -- they'd slide right off the chair.)
3. Notice their shoulders.
Are they slumped forward? Not like a depressed 14-year-old, but like a guy who's all pumped up but can't….seem…to…pull…his…shoulders…back. Like, physically incapable.
This is due to the sheer amount of bench pressing, shoulder pressing, and biceps curls. It wouldn't be so bad -- and their upper bodies may just look more proportionate -- if New Meatheads were to to do rows, pull-ups, reverse flies, and other exercises that strengthened their upper back.
But that rarely happens. Instead, you'll normally find them on the T-Bar Row trying to move four 45-pound plates a few inches.
4. Look for a notebook.
Don't see one? That's a bad sign. That means the New Meathead is in the gym doing whatever he feels like. No workout program. No progressive overload. No programming whatsoever.
Barbell curls? Sure. Dumbbell curls? Hell yeah. Preacher curls? Amen.
With no plan of attack, the New Meathead's groans of fake exertion will be in vain as he'll probably look the same as he does today four weeks from now.
5. Check the clock.
A New Meathead workout usually takes more than an hour, but they often have little to show for it. Between stopping for water, annoying other gym members, watching themselves in the mirror, and stopping for more water, a New Meathead may only do 15 minutes of actual exercise.
If you see him on the gym floor when you walk in the front door, and again when you walk out, it's safe to say the New Meathead is probably just wasting time.
1. Look at their legs.
Are they wearing long pants? Or shorts? If they're wearing long pants then they're probably trying to cover up their small Chicken Legs.
You see, most New Meatheads rarely train their legs, opting to spend more time on the bench press. And if they do train legs, it's almost always with the hack-squat machine or leg press, two exercises that are good in a pinch, but not as main leg exercises.
2. Look at their ass.
Yes, I know it can be scary. But look. You must find this out. Do they even have a noticeable ass? As a consequence of rarely training their legs, most New Meatheads have Flat-Ass Syndrome, a horrible affliction where their ass is actually concave. (Note: that's why you never see a New Meathead sit down -- they'd slide right off the chair.)
3. Notice their shoulders.
Are they slumped forward? Not like a depressed 14-year-old, but like a guy who's all pumped up but can't….seem…to…pull…his…shoulders…back. Like, physically incapable.
This is due to the sheer amount of bench pressing, shoulder pressing, and biceps curls. It wouldn't be so bad -- and their upper bodies may just look more proportionate -- if New Meatheads were to to do rows, pull-ups, reverse flies, and other exercises that strengthened their upper back.
But that rarely happens. Instead, you'll normally find them on the T-Bar Row trying to move four 45-pound plates a few inches.
4. Look for a notebook.
Don't see one? That's a bad sign. That means the New Meathead is in the gym doing whatever he feels like. No workout program. No progressive overload. No programming whatsoever.
Barbell curls? Sure. Dumbbell curls? Hell yeah. Preacher curls? Amen.
With no plan of attack, the New Meathead's groans of fake exertion will be in vain as he'll probably look the same as he does today four weeks from now.
5. Check the clock.
A New Meathead workout usually takes more than an hour, but they often have little to show for it. Between stopping for water, annoying other gym members, watching themselves in the mirror, and stopping for more water, a New Meathead may only do 15 minutes of actual exercise.
If you see him on the gym floor when you walk in the front door, and again when you walk out, it's safe to say the New Meathead is probably just wasting time.