Help needed with 5yo FREAKIN out when goin to school.

[LuKiFeR]

snds dumb but were havin problems with our 5yo goin to kindergarden(830-330). last year he went to pre-k(1230-330)and was fine...gettin on bus and at school. but this year he went the first week...cried a bit after the first day....told us the days are too long and he misses us. today, we walked him to bus stop and he freaked gettin on.....and ran off into our ams cryin. we told bus to go and we drove him to school. all was fine until we told him we were leaving.
he snapped....kickin screamin n cryin. so my girl walked him to class and when leaving...he started kickin n screaming and hit 2 teachers n knocked ones glasses off. they told my girl to just leave...which she did cryin.

ANY help or suggestions???
i feel bad n am worried about my lil guy.

anyone else hav this issue ever???
my son says its bc he misses us.

Thanx guys.

 

[Enigmatic707]

Well- I come from a big Mexican family... That being said my advice is not exactly PC

if that was me- my mom would beat me with her sandal so bad that I would want to run onto the bus. Then when I got home shed ask me to stop being such a pussy-

True story.

 

[Big-John]

I have to kids in school and know what you are dealing with.. I know its hard to watch him go through that but you have to stand your ground and not give in because he will feed from that. If he knows you will give in once then he knows he can keep doing that. Separation can be hard on kids at first.. The only thing that helped my youngest daughter was her making a friend in her class. If you know any parents that has a kid in his class then maybe they can bring him over and meet up and let the kids hang out. Then he would look forward to seeing that kid at school. I know its hard and I hope things get better.

 

[LuKiFeR]

thanx guys.
Enig- i tried the "quit bein a pussy...theyre gona make fun of u" thing and he said "i dnt care..i just wana come home with u and mommy cuz i miss u and love u".
he was never like this. hed sleep n stay at my moms for 2-3 days n not wana come home...hed go play at a friends all day n not hav one issue.
ever since he started skool....he wont go to my moms by himself or sleep over...wont go to friends houses..and most of all...school.

Big- thats exactly what we did today. we just left(after 45mins of tryin). when my girl was leavin...my son was hittin the teachers. broke our hearts.
he neeeeever acted like that to ANYONE. everyone that EVER met him said how polite and nixe he is. please...thank u...excuse me...etc. hes a big hearted polite good kid and it breakes my heart so bad seein this.
i dnt know what to do...but well see what happened when he gets home. we even told him tht hes grounded n im gettin rid of his PS3 and his guns if hes gona act like tht. he said..."thts ok..i dnt care...please just dnt leave me"

poor kid

 

[Big-John]

I know its hard brother..

 

[Enigmatic707]

Where does he sleep at home? In his own room or with you guys?

 

[OMAR]

Maybe he's having a problem with the other kids? Maybe there are bullies or just mean kids that are taking advantage of your nice boy.

Id try to schedule some time with his teacher. He/she might have sone insight or advice.

 

[LuKiFeR]

Where does he sleep at home? In his own room or with you guys?

hm...wut u think?

wit daddy

 

[Enigmatic707]

hm...wut u think?

wit daddy

How'd I know- that's a big issue right there. Not that it's bad that he sleeps with you guys but that's usually a huge contributor to a sever separation anxiety disorder.

I know I used to sleep with my dad till I was 7/8 and he died when I was 9.... Man was I one fucked up lil kid. You need to develop some self confidence in him. It's not going to happen through gentle positive reinforcement. You need to be some what brutal-

Next time he doesn't want to get on the bus give him and ultimatum, you have to do if before the situation takes hold and you had to have him make the decision while he's not in emotionally turbulent state-

So before you walk him to the bus say something along these lines-

"Hey bud, I know you don't like the bus and going to school, but we have to do all sorts of things we don't like because its out job and it's good for us and other people. So here's the deal- you can get on the bus and go to school and we'll be here when you get off.... Or if you don't get on the bus and we have to take you... Then you'll be taken to grandmas for the night and you won't get to come home till tomorrow."

Sounds harsh, but you can't leave any room for negotiating and you have to set lines and make boundaries that will be upheld.

 

[srd1]

I know it tears your heart out brother went thru it with my kids (three boys) and now granddaughter and grandson...just gotta stand firm with him its just something hes not used to and he will adapt if you dont cater to it its hard but you gotta do it brother...he will make friends and get used to it and then he wont be able to run away from you fast enough to get to school to see his buddies lol...promise man

 

[LuKiFeR]

thanks guys I appreciate it.
he's my life and I don't want him to be upset like this.
I just talked to him when he got home and he seemed okay. I didn't even bring it up.
just asked him about his day and that was it. he seemed okay so maybe it'll be better from here on out.

thanks again

 

[LuKiFeR]

ok....so heres a lil update...

the school called that day and told us about switching his class and then the next day we went i to meet with principle n and they refused to switch it. we kept him home yesterday because he was so worked up he had the shits. then TODAY....everything was fine and he was ready to go to school and then he freaked out when it was time to walk to the bus stop.
i took Enigmatics(and everyone elses) advice and told him "knock your shit off or im gona pull your pants down in front of everyone and beat your ass"
it killed me but eventually worked. I grab him by the arm and drug him on the bus and then a friends daughter(whos so sweet) held his hand and sat with him on the bus. me and my girl hurried up and ran to get away quick. then as the bus was pulling away we turned around and waved.

theeeeen(and dnt make fun of me n call me a bitch),
IIIIIII cried all the way home. lol. felt bad...but it wrked.

so thnx for the help guys.. I know its kinda dumb to get parenting classes from a steroid forum but this is more like a close-knit family than just that.

 

[Big-John]

Dude I cried like a baby the first time I put my oldest daughter on the bus so dont feel bad. But man maybe there is someone bulling him or even the teacher. If he done so good staying at other places and never acted like that before then maybe something did happen? Im not saying that is it for sure but like OMAR said you might want to schedule some time with his teacher..

 

[WesleyInman]

Went through this..my daughter as a baby was so bad w separation anxiety, we couldn't leave the room, or when she was in her crib she would get so upset she would make herself throw up...every single night..so she was a bed baby for a long time.

What worked for us was when other kids started coming into the picture. It took having other kids for her to look forward to seeing to calm her. Even now sometimes when I pick her up, I see her looking around to assure I am coming, while other kids play carelessly.

When my daughter was old enough to voice the issue, she told me that she was worried that I'd forget her, or not come for her. So she was genuinely showing fear for years, which is heartbreaking as a parent. Meanwhile I never did anything to give a reason for that issue, I was always involved, still am, and my daughter is my world. Actually, the overwhelming amount of attention I gave her may have had something to do with it, when it was time to go to presechool and she no longer got as much attention from daddy. It seems that it may be a mix of that and anxiety at the same time.

Maybe you can align a friend like someone else mentioned to accompany your son on the bus, daily. Or you can make a "chart" with stickers and stars on it. Every time he rides the bus to and from school, he gets stickers and stars on his daily chart. After a certain amount, say a week or two, he gets to pick out a gift. The "dollar store" is a great place for this to go down since it can get expensive otherwise.

My daughter has grown out of it for the most part, now when I drop her off at school in the morning and her friends are there, I am half invisible. Best of luck to you

 

[LuKiFeR]

Thanx for the input. on friday he got on the bus without cryin or even a lip curl.
so hopefully its over with. i think my sons problem(or mine..however u wana put it..lol) is the same thing u mentioned...i spend "too much" time with him and give him "too much" love and attention. Ever since he went on friday, he hasnt really talked about school or the bus. From the first day til friday..he wld whine n complain n talk about it all day long. It got to the point tht we were thinking about havin him see a counciler. But as of now...i think hes ok.
So, thanx for the help guysand all the input. It really helped out when dealin with this.

Went through this..my daughter s a baby was so bad w separation anxiety, we couldn't leave the room, or when she was in her crib she would get so upset she would make herself throw up...every single night..so she was a bed baby for a long time.

What worked for us was when other kids started coming into the picture. It took having other kids for her to look forward to seeing to calm her. Even now sometimes when I pick her up, I see her looking around to assure I am coming, while other kids play carelessly.

When my daughter was old enough to voice the issue, she told me that she was worried that I'd forget her, or not come for her. So she was genuinely showing fear for years, which is heartbreaking as a parent. Meanwhile I never did anything to give a reason for that issue, I was always involved, still am, and my daughter is my world. Actually, the overwhelming amount of attention I gave her may have had something to do with it, when it was time to go to presechool and she no longer got as much attention from daddy. It seems that it may be a mix of that and anxiety at the same time.

Maybe you can align a friend like someone else mentioned to accompany your son on the bus, daily. Or you can make a "chart" with stickers and stars on it. Every time he rides the bus to and from school, he gets stickers and stars on his daily chart. After a certain amount, say a week or two, he gets to pick out a gift. The "dollar store" is a great place for this to go down since it can get expensive otherwise.

My daughter has grown out of it for the most part, now when I drop her off at school in the morning and her friends are there, I am half invisible. Best of luck to you

 

[Genetikfightr]

Well- I come from a big Mexican family... That being said my advice is not exactly PC

if that was me- my mom would beat me with her sandal so bad that I would want to run onto the bus. Then when I got home shed ask me to stop being such a pussy-

True story.

This right here. Kids now and days don't know what a good ass whooping feels like. All I would need to when I was younger was a good spanking and I straightened up real quick.

 

[Ironbuilt]

Pure seperation anxiety...he needs his own room., bed , etc so everynight he has to be alone.. Mommy cant gu gu him like a baby and no need to have another " helicoptered" child with the broken arm hand out saying i need 20$ now dad in society.. ask me more i have no kids..lol.
But im one of eight so i grew up in fightmode...

 

[juiced13]

Man i Went thru the exact same issue with my little guy last year.. The good news is it does get better.. What i had to do was stay in class with him for a little each time and help him calm down. Also We gave him one of our old cell phones and set the alarm on it and told him when the alarm goes off either mommy or daddy will be here to pick you up. And then we would reward him if he did good all day and didnt cry when we left him. HOpe one these ideas helps ylou bro i know it drove me freaking crazy. And they dont care if anyone sees them..

 

[juiced13]

As for you guys saying beat their ass you clearly dont understand what they are going through. WHy would you beat your kids ass for them being scared of someone not coming to get them. It comes from something you have done in the past to them.. My kid was scared bc he remembered me leaving him for 4 months for a new job. So he assosiated me droping him off that he wouldnt get to see me for months.

And as for whooping a kid i am all for it, he gets his share of them. There just is no point in whooping a scared kid.

 

[Ironbuilt]

Lukifer needs aas whoopin..thats all I know. Kids will grow out of it as time goes by ..