- Nov 20, 2012
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http://spotmebro.com/miami-dade-high-schools-implement-mandatory-steroid-testing-students/
Get ready for some bat-shit insanity, even by Florida’s standards.
A school district in Miami-Dade plans to spend $73,000 in the first year of a new program that will test high school students for steroids. No, we’re not just talking about athletes either. They haven’t decided if it’s going to be random tests, if everyone gets tested, or if it will be “suspicion based.” If it’s suspicion based, there’s an endless supply of commenters online who are ready to call out anyone that looks even remotely muscular.
On the low end, just the pilot for this program is going to cost roughly as much as two teacher’s salaries for the year. But who cares about providing a better education, smaller classes or the bare minimum in classroom supplies (Which many teachers are forced to pay for out-of-pocket), there are kids lifting heavy things and THEY MUST BE STOPPED!
“We’re going to sensitize the parents, the students, the coaches to this issue very aggressively,” said Superintendent Alberto Carvalho, the guy who’s job it is to make it sound like this program isn’t an egregious waste of time and money.
The hope of the Superintendent is that the threat of testing will discourage steroid use. You know, since that always works so well. Also, how creepy does that quote sound? Aggressive sensitization? No thanks.
The real question is how invasive are these tests going to be? Unless they’re looking to create a lucrative black market for nerd piss, there’s going to have to be someone who’s job it is to literally watch high school students pee in cups. Why hire a couple of teachers when you can hire someone to watch teenagers while they urinate?
Get ready for some bat-shit insanity, even by Florida’s standards.
A school district in Miami-Dade plans to spend $73,000 in the first year of a new program that will test high school students for steroids. No, we’re not just talking about athletes either. They haven’t decided if it’s going to be random tests, if everyone gets tested, or if it will be “suspicion based.” If it’s suspicion based, there’s an endless supply of commenters online who are ready to call out anyone that looks even remotely muscular.
On the low end, just the pilot for this program is going to cost roughly as much as two teacher’s salaries for the year. But who cares about providing a better education, smaller classes or the bare minimum in classroom supplies (Which many teachers are forced to pay for out-of-pocket), there are kids lifting heavy things and THEY MUST BE STOPPED!
“We’re going to sensitize the parents, the students, the coaches to this issue very aggressively,” said Superintendent Alberto Carvalho, the guy who’s job it is to make it sound like this program isn’t an egregious waste of time and money.
The hope of the Superintendent is that the threat of testing will discourage steroid use. You know, since that always works so well. Also, how creepy does that quote sound? Aggressive sensitization? No thanks.
The real question is how invasive are these tests going to be? Unless they’re looking to create a lucrative black market for nerd piss, there’s going to have to be someone who’s job it is to literally watch high school students pee in cups. Why hire a couple of teachers when you can hire someone to watch teenagers while they urinate?
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